Speed Racer

Go, Go, Go Wachowskis

I really enjoyed The Wachowski's virtually flawless adaptation of Speed Racer, and although my inner 8 year old is alive and kicking, it wasn't that alone which made the movie for me. What made the movie for me was partly its inherent concern for the clash of certain family values--that of the nuclear unit (think about that phrase for a minute, I think its a powerful metaphor) vs. the corporate family--and partly its stellar execution of a simple cartoon we loved as kids. Roger Allam was perfect as the diabolical owner of Royalton--he exuded satanic, corporate power.

When he's trying to get Speed Racer to sign that contract, I gotta say something: I caved. I was urging Speed Racer on to sign the contract; that's how good Roger Allam is in this role. And yes--the film served me a lesson, how do you like that? Chalk it up to good moviemaking, my own gullibility (which may not even be rivalled by that of Speed Racer's), or a blessed combination of both, which allows this particular moviegoer the suspension-of-disbelief framework necessary to traverse these often bumpy cinematic trajectories.

So what's with the Speed Racer hate? I've given the matter sufficient thought to decide it's a conspiracy, that's clear to see. We live in the era of Newspeak; we are up to our ears in it. The fact this movie has received a 35% approval-rating on rottentomatoes.com raises suspicions in me that The Powers That Be don't want you to like this movie. That's how subversive I believe the Wachowski Bros' latest, slick movie product to be. They can get ridiculed all the way to the bank for all I care, but I know populist subversion when I see it. And I like their movies a lot.

Matthew Fox nailed the role of Racer X. Good thing Keanu Reeves turned down this role, because his familiarity would've tainted it, for us. (Perhaps that factored into his declining.) It has given Matthew Fox the opportunity to turn in a well calculated effort in the mysterious role of Racer X. Really, everyone in this thing put in the extra effort to lend their abject realism to a kid's manga--think about it.

So, again, what's with the Speed Racer hate? You don't have to go figure--look around you, at our plasticized, fake society. A society whose values have become nearly inverted. (It makes me wonder how many people out there claiming they hated this movie, secretly liked it, but they're just too embarrased, somehow, to admit it.) I don't want to get too deeply into the inherent symbolism behind Racer X's character--it's writ quite plain in the film's subtext--but its just one small portion of a virtual smorgasbord of hyperkinetic moviemaking this film offers, for this century. This is the good stuff, as far as I'm concerned. Like the John Kricfalusi Ren & Stimpys, gonzo entertainment with a double-entendre, Speed Racer's got something for everyone. But there's clearly somebody out there that just doesn't want you to see it. And I'm afraid this someone's army of disenfranchised minions is starting to care less about it, too. If that's not mysteriously veiled enough for you, then let me say this.

I sure hope this movie gets a higher critical rating from the underground, to offset the smeared campaign currently being waged against it. It deserves recognition for what it is--a daring and faithful adaptation of a beloved japanese children's manga. The Wachowski Bros have redeemed themselves, in my book. And I'm not convinced I should have ever doubted them in the first place.


If you fall into the widespread network of distorted lies and falsifications inadvertent agents of "The Man" are desperately trying to spread about this film, then you really are just another programmed iBot who traded in your original brain for the media-controlled feeding frenzy of opinions out there meant to mold you into yet another compliant clone to be herded along with the rest of the sheep. The Wachowskis know exactly what they are doing, and they adorn the simple Speed Racer story with a compelling subtext which valiantly fights for the right of the uncorrupted everyman to stand up for what he believes in--so long as what he believes in is the right thing--and not the "bling thing" (if you know what I mean).

What I'm saying is, every self-disrespecting corporate whore who sold their soul long ago to this cheap, plasticized digital empire of meaningless filth will have their circuits fried at this movie. I can picture them emerging from the neon-dazzled darkness blinking "does not compute / does not compute" while they blindly reach for their iPods to soothe their provoked and collective conscience. A quick push of the PLAY button will wash out their need to think and they can resume being pacified at the corporate teat of synthesized hypnomusic and dream about their next free MP3 offer when they log back on to AOL online. It appears to me that the Wachowskis have pitched their good-message movie to a nation already turned soulless. The hordes of drooling, mindless idiots out there had already lost their last shred of humanity by the time Speed Racer opened in theaters Friday, May 9, 2008. The movie is representative of a nearly extinct ethic. This, perhaps, is one of the reasons for all the hate spewed out in its wake.

Think for yourself, and go rent the movie already. Otherwise, go ahead and sign that fat contract and just lie down so the minions of ignorance may continue to discreetly gang rape you. All I'm saying is, if you don't like Speed Racer the movie without having seen it, your soul was hopelessly corrupted a long time ago. It just goes to show how we can so easily be bought into the media-induced efforts at discrediting someone's brilliantly subversive upgrade of a kid's cartoon. If you are one of those people who deep inside used to like the Speed Racer cartoon as a kid, but have grown up to become an adult whose opinion of something can be molded by a 35% rating at Rottentomatoes, then you are a lost soul primed to be flushed down the toilet of the New Corporatism. If, on the other hand, there is still a shred of individuality left in what passes for your spiritually ravaged shell of a body, you might take a chance that the critics (and the robots who blindly follow them) are wrong about this one, and Speed Racer might actually qualify as a pretty fun time at the movies.

Go rent Speed Racer and help spread the word. Otherwise, go back to your mindless jobs of becoming fodder for this soulless age of easily programmed corporatism. Either fight the power, or get out of the way. Get on the side of the good guys, or continue being patsies and human shields for the evil underlings of the Corporate Empire; it's your choice. The Wachowski Bros have clearly demarcated which side of that line they stand on. And I, for one, know that I stand with them, for now. Oh wait a second, this movie isn't about the Matrix--? It's just a fantasy, you say--? Well, it's good Saturday morning fare, at least. I recommend it for people who can check their baggage at the door, and enjoy some mildly subversive family fare. Whatever it is that the Wachowskis are dreaming up next, you can be sure I'll be interested in checking it out for myself, at the very least.